“It is
impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.-William G. McAdoo” (www.quotegarden.com). No matter whom you are or where you are, conflict will exist because
it is human nature. People will always fight, argue, and disagree on any number
of topics. The key to get through any type of situation where argument arises
is through effective communication. In the following paragraphs I will be explaining
one situation where there was conflict and how it pertained to the five stages
of a constructive conflict that is explained in our text book.
The conflict
that I will be discussing with you is an argument that I have had recently with
my husband Derek. According to our text book there are five stages that a
constructive conflict goes through. The first is called the prelude to
conflict. “The prelude to conflict consists of the variables that make conflict
possible between those involved.” (Cahn D.D, Abigail R. A. 2014). The variables
can and will include age, sex, relationship of participants, bystanders, and a
physical or social environment. In this case the conflict occurred between me
and my husband. So the variables where between male and female, ages of 28-30,
relationship is married and environment is driving in car on the way to a
birthday party.
The second
stage is called the Triggering event. “The triggering event or conflict
stimulus is a behavior that the parties in the conflict point to as the issue,
problem, or focal point of the conflict.”(Cahn D.D, Abigail R. A. 2014) Often
times when it comes to a triggering event it will start at one point for one
person and start at another point for the other party. So far my conflict that
occurred between me and my husband started when he brought up the subject of
football. He told me he was so excited that football season was starting and he
would be spending every single Sunday with his friends. Then I replied not
every Sunday because I may have plans one Sunday where he would then be
responsible for watching the children. This triggered the conflict that rose
between us.
The third
stage which is the initiation of conflict directly follows the triggering
event. “The initiation phase or response occurs when the conflict becomes
overt. This happens when at least one person makes known to the other that a
conflict exists, such as reacting to another’s upsetting comment, pointing out
the offensive nature of the others behavior, or reminding of the other that she
or he is expected to do something the person is not doing.” (Cahn D.D, Abigail
R. A. 2014). This occurred when Derek informed me that if I had something to do
one Sunday then I was responsible for finding a baby sitter for my children
because he will otherwise be occupied. This made my emotions and blood pressure
sky rocket because in my mind it was not right for him to just take one day off
every single week and one time I may need him to watch kids he was unwilling to
do that for me.
The fourth
stage is called the differentiation phase. “The differentiation phase or
ongoing interaction pattern occurs when the participants use constructive or
destructive strategies and tactics, presenting both sides of the story, moving
back and forth, and escalating and de-escalating the conflict.” (Cahn D.D,
Abigail R. A. 2014). This is where the bulk of the argument and or conflict
occur. So in this instance my husband and I went back and forth arguing about
why he regardless will be busy every Sunday and I will have to be responsible
to find a babysitter. He argued that he only asks for one day a week for just
the season of football and that I should accept it and deals with it. Where I
argued that I ask for no breaks at all during the year and that he should at
least give me one Sunday even if it’s during the football season if I need him.
The fifth
and final stage is called the resolution phase. “The resolution phase or
outcome occurs when those involved accept some outcome to the conflict.”(Cahn
D.D, Abigail R. A. 2014). In any type of conflict situation the ideal outcome
would be for both parties to leave the conflict happy and for it to be resolved.
This sometimes does not occur and the conflict is put on the back burner until
it arises again in the future because nothing was resolved. Unfortunately when
it came to the argument with my husband this is what happened. After
continuously arguing our points back and forth we arrived at the party without
any type of resolution. It has not been brought up since then and will most
likely occur in the future when I need him to watch the kids on a Sunday.
In
conclusion, no matter what conflict that you go through there are stages. These
stages can determine how the course of the argument can go. Through
communication all conflict can be resolved or in some cases not resolved but
left for another day. This paper was used to inform you of the different stages
and what can occur during a conflict.
References:
Cahn D.D.,
& Abigail, R.A. (2014) Managing Conflict through Communication (5th
ed.) Boston, MA :Pearson Education, Inc
No comments:
Post a Comment